The ABCs of Dude

ABCs of the "Dude"

The Dude.

A is the actress This dude so besets.

B is his bilards, bill, bouquets And bets.

C is his Cheek, cigarette, cane and Collar.

D is his drinks on another man’s dollar.

E is his eye glass and English airs.

F is the Free lunch that he Never spares.

G is the girl he en-Deavors to mash.

H is the hat just as flat as his cash. 

I is his Igno- rance, always dis- played.

J. is the jewelry on him arrayed.

K is his knowledge of folly And sin.

L is his legs that are crooked and thin.

M is his moustache, nine hairs to a side.

N is his neck- tie, a soil-ed shirt to hide.

O’s his old man, whom he will not indorse.

P is his pocket-book, empty, of Course.

Q is his quarrel When he gets a kick.

R is the racket that makes Him so sick.

S is his shoes Very sharp At the toe.

T Is his tailor Who fills Him with Woe.

U is His uncle, Who pays Ante’s bill.

V is his Vice that Makes him Look so ill.

W’s his wash-Woman scold-Ing the beat.

X is Xer-tion to keep On his feet.

Y is his yawns, for he’s Tired out quite.

Z is the Zigzag he walks When tight.

The Norristown Herald.

The Times (Philadelphia), August 26, 1883, page 3.